


1921 - Hell Hath No Fury

by impalafortrenchcoats



Series: Young Forever [6]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Christmas, F/F, F/M, Gen, Genderbending, Newspapers, Other, Pretty much gen unless you squint, Theatre, Very light on shipping in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-21 21:19:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13152255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalafortrenchcoats/pseuds/impalafortrenchcoats
Summary: Extra! Extra! Read all about it!Play Cancelled After Actress Breaks Character to Fight an Audience Member





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

The London Gazette

Sunday Issue: Aug 14. 1921.

 

**MAYHEM AT THE MARQUEE**

 

_Play Cancelled After Actress Breaks Character to Fight an Audience Member_

 

Sir Thomas Davenport, London’s No. 1 theatrical director, was seen today in St. Marie Hospital following bizarre incident at Ambassadors Theatre last Saturday. Officers continue vigilant investigation after confrontation between playhouse veteran and a female attendee became physical. Fortunately, with the exception of Sir Davenport, injuries among theatre goers were at a minimum following the subsequent skirmish between the two women. Closer perusal of said event was made necessary by London police force due to immense property damage in aftermath of the women’s clash, which according to eyewitnesses, was of gladiatorial proportions.

Ambassadors Theatre has been hosting the first of what was to be several night’s performance of _Romeo & Juliet _ on the evening of August 13. The future of the troupe’s run at the theatre remains in question after leading woman, Ms. Seokjin Kim, broke character to assault an audience member, one Ms. Yoongi Min. Sources on site insist that the entire episode had been incited on part of Ms. Min, who made some disparaging commentary on Ms. Kim’s aesthetic appeal during the show, to which the young actress responded by taking a running start and diving from stage at Ms. Min.

Mr. James Bennett, a frequent patron of Ambassadors, had been sitting next Ms. Min at the genesis of the mayhem. Mr. Bennett reported in astonishment, “I could hardly believe my eyes. One minute, Juliet was waxing her admiration for Romeo, and the next a she-devil was barging straight towards us, with all the fiery brimstone of hell burning in her eyes. Even now, I shudder to recall. Never had I seen such unadulterated rage in my life!”

In contrast, Madame Fantine Leroy was quite vocal in her support of the thespian, “If you ask me, the young woman in the crowd was unforgivably rude to say what she did in such a manner. Why, if I had been called ‘particularly unattractive’ mid-monologue, I too would have taken up the challenge with violence. A lady must defend her pride to her last breath. That another must insult her so dearly at the pinnacle of a performance is too steep a slight to bear.”

The details of what entailed following Ms. Kim’s abrupt self-ejection off the stage remains unclear. It can only be confirmed that both women engaged in a long and vicious fight, which had been briefly interrupted by the well-meaning director, Sir Davenport, who did not come away from the attempted intervention unscathed. Once the women had settled down and police arrived, Sir Davenport was rushed to a nearby hospital with a broken clavicle, a dislocated shoulder, and four severely bruised ribs. Audience members who chose to stay and watch the women did so at a safe distance after the director’s ignoble dispatchment.

Accounts of the fight range widely among witnesses. Given the fantastical nature of collected reports, this editor was forced to omit these accounts on the whole on basis of the paper’s credibility. Regardless of excitability at events, as respectable Englishmen, it should be accepted as concrete fact that young women cannot fly through the air, nor can they tear theatre seating from the floor with their bare hands, nor can they shatter said chairs with a single kick. It is important to remember, for the sake of respectability, we proper English must not lose sight of the line dividing reality and imagination.

Despite insufficient eyewitness reports, officers have concluded that the primary site of action had been contained to the first six rows of floor seating, as well as stage front. Damage reports conclude seating area would require complete overhaul. Magnanimously, Mr. John Banks, spokesman for Ambassadors Theatre proper, has commented that the establishment has taken the opportunity presented to expand orchestra pit. Construction will commence immediately following completion of investigation.  

The two women were escorted by wary police officers to local department, where they were released on 12 pounds bail. Ms. Min denied commentary with press. However, her gentleman company, Mr. Hoseok Jung, did give statement, “This was just a great misunderstanding. We are sorry for the inconvenience, and deeply apologize to all those who had been looking forward to the show.”

Mr. Jung denied interest in pressing charges.

Ms. Kim left the department at a later time, accompanied by younger sister, Ms. Namjoon Kim, who came to post her bail. The elder sister happily posed for the press and only commented that she was happy to see that such nasty matters were behind her. In regards to the insults exchanged, the elder Ms. Kim’s only response was, “A fool speaks an awful lot of nothing. I’ve always been a woman who has lived by the saying ‘action speaks louder than words,’ something I believe we can all benefit in remembering.”

Ever the performer, Ms. Kim gifted press with a heartfelt kiss blown toward ready cameras, and exited the premise with a hand on the small of her much more reticent sister’s back. Hardly could a more contradictory pair be seen.

Despite numerous accounts and diligent police work, details regarding Saturday night’s theatrical debacle still remain muddled. However, with the exception of damages to theatre and Sir Davenport’s unfortunate run in with the young women’s fists, there is no other reported injuries, and both women are wearing sustained wound like champions.

(Pictured: upper left, Ms. Yoongi sporting a magnificent shiner; upper right, Ms. Kim smiling through her reddening nose and cut lip; bottom, Sir Davenport, looking cheery in hospital despite injuries)

London police are asking only those with pertinent information to please come forward in cooperation with ongoing investigations.

At the request of Detective Joseph Browning, leading officer of procedures pertaining to the incident, this editor need emphasize that numerous conflicting accounts from the night have resulted in stagnation of investigation rather than assistance in clarification of the events.

Those with information, please _see pg. 10._

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Dec 25, 2017_

 

“Taehyung, why is there a laminated newspaper clip on top of the Christmas tree? What happened to our angel?” Hoseok stared at the sight before him in confusion.

“I switched it. See, I think what actually belongs on top of that tree should be representative of what gives us light in our daily lives,” Taehyung said while stuffing something suspiciously white and feathery into a box.

“Okay?” Something about the clip looked decidedly familiar in an ominous way that Hoseok couldn’t put his finger on, but considering that Taehyung was behind this, the ominous feeling was probably appropriate.

“Hoseok, let me tell you, there’s nothing that gave my life more light and meaning than what is in that clip, right there.”

Against his better judgment, Hoseok stepped closer to read the contents. In actuality, all it took was for the headline and date to compute when the tidal wave of suppressed horror came flooding back to him. The torn clothes and hair ornaments flying every which way, the rage filled screams echoing over the chaos of escaping patrons, the broken wood and cushion stuffing sprinkling the air, all the while he had simply been hell bent on escape.

No. Suppress it, suppress it, conceal, don’t feel, holy gods, why, Taehyung?

When he finally managed some control over his bodily functions, he could only whisper a broken, “Is that…”

“The time Yoongi set off Seokjin so bad they tore down the theatre? Yup! It’s almost a century, and I’m still living for it!”

“Why would you hang it up? How did you even find it? Please, tell me you didn’t save the clipping all these years.”

“No, I didn’t save it. I mean I tried, but things got hectic between the Wars, and it just got lost along the way. I nearly pissed myself when I found it in the university archives.”

“But, why here? Why now?”

“So,” Taehyung hesitated a bit, dropping the box onto the coffee table. The contents gave the distinctive crash and clang of something fragile being broken, but Taehyung paid it no mind. “Okay, I kind of had a spat with Yoongi the other day. He wouldn’t shut up about how unbeatable he was and shit. So, I pointed out that he totally got his ass handed to him by Seokjin, you know? And the ass kept denying it. But look! I got proof, now. Glorious, laminated, printed proof.”

“This is about Super Smash Brothers, isn’t it?”

“Maybe?”

“Yoongi is going to kill you.”

“I know.”

“No, like, really kill you.”

“It’ll be worth it.”

“Dead.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung sighed, still putting on a brave face as he did. “Hey, Hoseok. You still got your bras from last time you were a girl, right?”

Hoseok shook his head and turned to leave, “No, but I’ll go dig up Jungkook’s for you.”

“Thanks! Merry Christmas! You’re my favorite!”

“Merry Christmas. You’re still hella dead.”

“Yup!”


	2. Extra: Yoongi & Seokjin

“I’m going to kill him.”

“It doesn’t look half bad.”

“I’m going to murder him.”

“I forgot how cute we looked with the bobs!”

“Bathe in his blood.”

“Yoongi, next time you’re a girl, you should try the finger-roll look, again. I know it’s a bit of a mess in this picture, but you looked really good with it.”

“I’ll decapitate him. Let’s see how long it takes him to come back from that.”

“Oh, my, look at my necklace! Whatever happened to that thing? Damn, I looked good. How did you bear to touch this face? My nose was red for ages after this.”

“I will kill him with my bare hands!”

Seokjin sighed, “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

“I’ll make it stick this time.”

“No, you won’t. Calm down. It's just a joke, and it’s Christmas. Keep the murder levels down to zero, will you?”

Seokjin was doing his best. He really was. He had grabbed Yoongi and Namjoon to the supermarket for some last minute groceries earlier. When they had returned, Namjoon was the first to take the bags inside, which he did and promptly returned to say he had some errands to get to and immediately ran off into the cold.

That should have been all the hint necessary for Seokjin and Yoongi to realize something was fishy. The second should have been wheen they finally got inside; the house was also suspiciously empty. It was too bad the two were too busy arguing over Christmas dinner to notice. 

It was only when they got to the living room, that it became rather difficult to miss the obnoxiously decorated laminated paper on top of the tree. 

And here they were.

“I need to kill him.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Who’s going to stop me.”

“You’re looking at him.”

“You? Really?”

“Try me. You’re looking at printed evidence that I will end your shit if you try anything to fuck with my Christmas plans.”

“Fuck you, Seokjin.”

“Go right ahead, but you're still not killing anyone, today.”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“After Christmas, or better yet, after New Years. We got a plans. Actually, let me rephrase that, I got plans for us.”

“I’m going to kill him after Christmas.”

“I’m alright with that. Now, help me make the salad.”

“Why can’t we have noodles.”

“You save the murder for after New Years, and I’ll add the noodles. Deal?”

“Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Basically, I disappeared to work on a long fic I meant to finish and post in time for Christmas, but HAHA that didn't pan out at all. This is my semi-guilty Christmas post, instead. MERRY CHRISTMAS! And HAPPY HOLIDAYS to those who don't celebrate Christmas!
> 
> *Also! Took a second to find it again because I'm a butt and didn't reblog, but this was post that inspired this story:   
> [This Post](https://taesbabygirl96.tumblr.com/post/168578879180/why-i-can-see-that-actually-happening)


End file.
